Tuesday, November 21, 2006

The Looming Quater Life Crisis

I just finished reading one of my very dear friends blogs on not knowing what you want to do and feeling incomplete in life, even when things are going exceptionally well. I totally get it. And as I was reading that and also feeling lost and confused, I began to wonder something. Are you supposed to feel this way in the year before you turn thirty? I have just turned 29 as most of you know and it seems like there is some societal countdown of "well you're almost 30, better do something incredibly significant with your life". It feels like you are supposed to be totally ashamed of yourself if haven't become rich, stable, married, had 2.5 children and moved into suburbia by the time you hit the big 3-0.

For those of you I haven't actually had a chance to share the good news with yet, my boyfriend Mike proposed to me 2 weeks ago. My answer, and he can verify this, was "okay, no rush right?". It took me 29 years to get engaged, who knows how long it'll take to get married. And if one more person says, so when's the big day, I may scream. Can't they just be happy that we have made a committment to each other to be together forever, and that we are in love? I'm thrilled to be in love. I'm thrilled to be engaged. I have no freakin' clue what I want to do with the rest of my life! WHAT'S THE RUSH!!!!!!

I also no longer work at the theatre. I'm not currently doing any shows or performing in any way. I hate it. I have wanted nothing more than to be in theatre for so long, not being part of any kind of theatre in any way is heartwrenching. And I can't think of anything that I want to do besides be in theatre. Suck, suck, suck.

But I am tired of apologizing for not being a Stepford wife and rushing into suburbian oblivion. So life isn't exactly the way I thought it would be. What does it matter? I actually want to do things with my life and enjoy myself. Why settle so early? Do you actually gain anything doing everything you're supposed to at all times? Yeah, boredom.

To my dear friend, I totally know how you feel. With obligation after obligation looming upon us in our society, it's so easy to fall into the trap of "I should be this, I should be that". It sucks. And why does it only come at 30? Twenty was much less filled with trepidation. 25 was less stressful. It's just thirty, I guess.


mike said...

Yea blogirl! Bloggergirl. Yes Bloggergirl is better and less like Blo-Girl. Who would be quite the superhero, I think. I'm tired. I love Trish and I confirm everything she says about everything ever. Also, 30 sucks. It does. Suckity suck suck. I assume 60 will be worse and leave it at that. No rush to marry is right! Abso-frakkin lutely. Let me frakking ENJOY being engaged for awhile, dammit. A long while!
Two and a half years of dating has flown by and I bet years of engagement will too. But as the old equation goes, flying time = fun.
Dear Trish: I like your blog. And your bum.

J D Coulter said...

Well congrats Trishy and Mike.

Good on ya, may I suggest a surprise wedding!

Stranger said...

Trish..no worries..I'm 31 now and people keep telling me what they think is best for me.I on the other hand, and content with doing what pleases me. I am in this rut too...Mom got sick and I ended up putting my career on hold for the time being...the time being has stretched out into almost 2 years. And I am aware that now that I'm in my 30's I have gotten into a kind of "no mans land" when it comes to performing..can't be the ingenue and too young for older womens roles..I miss performing and I too don't know what else I want to do..I mean..what else out can put such a fire in my belly like acting has? All I can tell you is what I've experienced and that is it doesn't get any easier. I hope you find something that you are totally passionate about...oh, and congrats on the engagement! Sending love from the Back Forty.